Why I Thought the Universe Forgot About Me | Nitika Chopra

October 15, 2016

Why I Thought the Universe Forgot About Me

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I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. I’ve had more moments than I can count over the past six months where I thought the Universe flat out forgot about me. My faith was weak and almost non-existent; my self-confidence was low and my creativity was nowhere to be found. In the grand scheme of things, I have been through much worse and I reminded myself of that as often as possible. But even still, it didn’t take away from the pain I was experiencing on a daily basis.

So what’s been happening?

Well, let’s just say it’s been a cocktail of a few failed relationships, an unexpected business slow down and my health giving me major signs that I’ve been on the wrong track. While I’m in no way looking for sympathy, I have to say … it’s been an incredibly challenging time. Naturally, I did the work to wrap my head around these situations and found some peace. But just as I felt ease again, another problem would pop-up. Like those carnival games with the heads that pop-up—every time you think you got one, there’s another one waiting for you.

Have you ever felt that way before?

I haven’t talked about this stuff publicly not because I was scared to, but because I believe in being authentic. One way I try to do that is by healing my own stuff before trying to help others with their healing journeys. If you’ve read my blog, you probably saw some of my dating disasters and if you follow me on social media you know that I’m now on week 7 of my candida diet. But, there’s so much more that has been going on beneath the surface.

What I am about to share with you is a version of something you’ve heard before, but it’s an incredibly important reminder. Especially since so many of you have shared that 2016 has been challenging for you too. My love, these times in our lives help us remember who we really are and I’m convinced that it’s the greatest gift we could ever hope for. Every moment something comes up is a chance for us to re-evaluate and get back to basics; something we probably would never do if things were easy. As much as I’m totally over learning through pain and struggle, I am grateful for all it has shown me.

In the case of my attempt at finding a romantic partner, I can say with 100% certainty that I am more happy and proud of the woman I am today than I have ever been. It took some tears to finally look within and find what makes me beautiful and special, and ground into the things I love about myself in a new way. I have never been more comfortable in my own skin than I am today.

It took my business slowing down for me to get back to why I want to do this work. I asked myself questions like, “do you just want to be famous?” or “are you addicted to validation and need that to feel worthy?” and “do you even care about helping people?”. I asked all the questions I could think of as often as I could, and six months later that brought me here. To this moment, writing this blog and sharing these scary vulnerable moments of my life. I’ve always felt that my struggles were not about me, but opportunities to help others. Whether I was bedridden or going through a divorce, things always felt like they were for a much bigger purpose.

But somehow, I forgot that along the way. I got lost in the social media, in the self-promotion, the deals, the brands and external validation. It makes me a little sad to admit that, but I also have compassion for it. I never stopped being me, but I let myself off the hook for being the parts of me that I have always wanted to share more of — the vulnerable, the messy, the insecure, the wise and the loving parts.

In writing this, I wanted to offer you two things. First off, I wanted to let you know that if you have been going through a hard time this year, this week or this month – you are not alone. Not even a little bit. And the more we get honest about that, the more we can love each other through it. The second thing is a reminder that even when life gets hard, you are completely being guided. You haven’t been forgotten by God, the Universe or even the loves of your life who might have a hard time showing up when things get rough. You are being led towards your truth, your divine purpose and being pushed to love yourself on a level you never even knew was possible.

I hope this post was helpful for you, sweet thing. I so love connecting with you here and learning about what’s happening for you so we can be on this journey together. If this post resonated with you, please share that with me in the comments below. Also, if you know a friend who could use support after a tough time, this might be the perfect thing to send her (or him!). You can also post it on your social media so she or he gets the message without you having to call them out. Either way, I look forward to supporting you in the comments. Lots of love, always.

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Comments

  • Kim

    Nitika, I love reading your blogs b/c they are so raw!
    I actually have a friend who really needs to read this, to remind her she is not alone during this hard time in her career, relationship & health issues. A big thank you for continuing to share your vulnerability with others, it’s so brave!

    Xoxo
    Kim

    • Nitika

      Aww thanks Kim! It’s great to see you here. I am so glad you feel like this would be helpful for a friend of yours. Sending you and her so much love! xx

  • Brooke

    Thank you so much for being honest, opening up, and getting vulnerable with us. I, too, have had a tough 2016 and am really fighting with myself in a lot of ways.
    I finally have a diagnosis for what I’ve been experiencing health wise for the past year and a half–chronic fatigue syndrome. In the supposed prime of my life, I’m watching my friends get married, have kids, buy houses, and move on with living, while I’m stuck in a job that’s not fulfilling or financially rewarding, and spending all down time not at work resting. My diet is very strict (I did the anti candida diet for nine weeks!) and I’m slowly reincorporating foods now back in. I’m single and so with those major things, dating isn’t an option. I have struggled a lot with feeling like God has forgotten me because I can’t move forward until I’m “well”, whatever that will mean for me. Just sending you a lot of love. You aren’t alone. Your post just kept me shaking my head in agreement to all you’re going through. I feel I’ve been trying to catch up, but am always behind. The world feels like it’s moving on without me and I’m stuck here just sleeping through it.
    Thanks for your words. You’ve always inspired me to be authentic, loving, and real. You are gorgeous!!

    • Nitika

      Sending you so so much love too Brooke! I totally hear you with everything you’re going through too. We are so in this together. Keep up the great work with taking care of your health and trying to dig deeper for a greater purpose in your life. Lots of love! xx

  • SM

    It’s funny you use the phrase that the universe “forgot” about you. When I see my peers getting married and having children while I am still on Tinder (and countless other dating sites and apps), I often think “Universe, please don’t overlook me!” Thanks for the post and sharing how you feel; it makes me realize that I am not alone in feeling how I do. And perhaps we’re both being guided, but right now it’s dark and we can’t see our way, but I hope one day we’ll look behind and see the path we took and it all makes sense. Fingers crossed, Universe!

    • Nitika

      You are so not alone. We are all going through so many things together all the time, whether we know it or not! Sending love your way xx

  • Marie

    Hi Nitika,
    Just want to let you know how much love we have for you. Your post reminds me of my last 4 1/2 years of chronic health issues and drama. But we are never forgotten. Have faith and keep moving through it.
    Peace and Love,
    Marie Belle

    • Nitika

      Thank you so much for this sweet note Marie! I have so much love for you too and glad that we are in all of this together. xxx

  • Pooja

    Hi Nitika! Your post hit home, I have felt like that and then I have to remind myself, everything I go through has made me who I am today, and I am damn proud of it! Thanks again for this super awesome post!

    • Nitika

      Yes yes Pooja! I totally get that and remind myself that I am proud to be me, everyday. Keep up the great work! Lots of love xx

  • Vannessa Vinos

    Fabulous post Nitika. So authentic and raw.
    I loved the questions you asked yourself to make sure you were on the right track.

    • Nitika

      Thanks so much Vannessa! I am glad that the post resonated with you. Lots of love, beauty xx

  • Michele

    Wow, loved this. This was me about 2 years ago. I was in the “was I forgotten??” place for about 3 years. I had faith. Sometimes strong heart faith, sometimes I was just talking the talk but not feeling it really. But I remained hopeful. Fast forward 5 years and I see how those 3 years in the wilderness helped me get stronger, trust more, and not stress out over the stupid stuff anymore. Feeling forgotten is a tough place to be but I feel like it has to be a part of everyone’s story in one way or another. There’s comes a point when you realize, understand and accept that this was the intended plan all along and there was purpose in every second of it. Thanks so much for being so genuine Nitika!

    • Nitika

      Wow, yes Michele! I totally relate to what you wrote and am glad this post resonated with you. I feel myself getting stronger by the day 🙂 Lots of love to you!! xx

  • Bertha

    Dear Nitika,

    Thanks for sharing this. Reading your post is a reminder that we are all vulnerable but also capable of doing so much more than we think. This past month has been challenging for me, lots of changes and decision making and lately I find myself mentally exhausted and even hopeless at times. But I know that things will get better, I just have to be patient and live one day at a time in order to get through rough times. The Universe has our backs, always.

    Love, Bertha

    • Nitika

      Yes Bertha, I love that and so beautifully said. I am sorry to hear that things have been challenging for you but I promise you are not alone. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Sending lots of love your way xx

  • Alionka

    I love reading this, Nitika. It’s so refreshing to see that someone who is really successful has these feelings too! I had a similar thing happen this year in business and can’t agree enough – it was an opportunity to ground more into my mission.

    I also realized it’s a “9” year in numerology so this year is all about letting go of what no longer serves us. I’ve been paying attention to the full moons and doing releasing ceremonies so that has helped a lot!

    • Nitika

      Hi Alionka! It’s so great to see you here, thanks for your comment. Yes we ALL can go through challenging times, no matter how well everything looks on the outside. Because we are human!

      I love the numerology aspect…so interesting! I definitely feel I can relate to that for sure. Keep up all the great sweetie! Sending lots of love your way xx

  • Elissa

    Hi Nitika, this is my favorite blog post of yours! To be so honest and vulnerable like that. I’m currently going through a similar situation and I wish I can be as open and honest about myself in my blog. I guess that’s the reason it’s been slowing down and on a hiatus. When you said “you are being led towards your truth” that so resonates with me because Ive been having a hard time in trusting my journey. Thank you for this eye-opening post and encouraging words, that it’s okay to be vulnerable. I hope I can do the same when I’m ready. Xx

    • Nitika

      Elissa I am so glad that this blog resonated with you and that it was helpful! You will open up and be vulnerable on your blog and otherwise, when it’s time. I could have shared earlier but I needed to wait too. It’s ok, love. Listen to that and allow that to guide you as well. Sending so much love your way! xx

  • Betsy

    Thank you Nitika! This post resonated with me in so many ways. I have constantly struggled with my weight and I thought I found a way of eating and exercise routine that was working for me. Unfortunately, in the last 2 months, the health of one of my parents has deteriorated and it’s been particularly challenging finding ways to be available to help take care of them but also be able to take care of myself. While I want to find true love, I’ve also been afraid to put myself back in the dating world and have avoided it altogether. As we are getting close to the holidays and wrapping up 2016, I’m working on using this time to be reflective and grateful for the many good things that have happened and look at areas where I need to improve.

    Thank you for sharing yourself with us!

    • Nitika

      So beautiful Betsy. Thank you for sharing that with us, I can only imagine how challenging it is to try to take care of so many things at once! Not a small task, for sure. I can pretty much guarantee that you are doing great, just because I know you’re doing your best. Whatever level that is right now, try to remind yourself of just how much you’re holding together. I think now is a great time for reflection – so perfect! Sending lots of love to you! xx

  • Sarah

    ❤❤❤ Hugs to you! This resonated. The pain sucks. I think we all need this. I shared today as well, as scary as it can be. Social media can often portray perfection and nothing really is perfect. We are all experiencing good, bad, and in between but we learn and grow if we choose to see the lesson. You are such an inspiring, talented, bright light. Thank you for showing up in a real, raw way. Sending love and light!!!

  • Sunita

    Wow! So much of what you have written has resonated with me. I have gone through a divorce this past year after 20 years of marriage, getting back to dating, finding myself, understanding what it means to love myself, feeling the fear of “will I be alone for the rest of my life”, what do I do with my new life, what is my purpose etc. etc. etc. And a lot of fear after ending up in the ER and having knee surgery. I am sitting in it, trying to feel it, and know it will pass and trying to remember that there will be huge lessons in this in due time. But in the meantime, lots of tears, doubts, journaling, and trying to remember that my guides and the universe has always steered me in the right direction. I wish more women, especially Indian, opened up like you. It is very supportive for me to have found you through your writing. Thank you!

    • Nitika

      Hi Sunita! Thank you so much for your comment. WOW. You are one brave and powerful woman, I can tell just by the way you so eloquently shared your truth. You’re doing great. I can feel it. And the more love you can have for yourself along the way, the better. Sending you so much love in this moment + I am THRILLED we are now connected, too!! xx

  • Rachelle

    I agree with you Nikita. 2016 has been a difficult year.. If you add the number 2016 = 9 and a year ending with (‘s are ending relationships that are not working for us, work you name it. I’v experienced the same thing. You are on the right track. 2017 is a year of New Beginnings. I cant wait, and wishing you the very best. :0)

    • Nitika

      Such a fun insight into the year Rachelle! Thanks for sharing this. Lots of love xx

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