November 12, 2016

My Response To This Election

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I had another post planned to share with you today, but after what’s happened this week it didn’t feel appropriate to send.

So instead, I’m writing Donald Trump a thank you letter. While that may sound crazy, please read on.

Mr. Trump,

Thank you for breaking our hearts.
Thank you for activating a deep sense of fear.
Thank you for being a powerful example of misogyny, especially to those who didn’t believe it existed.
Thank you for making history in the most devastating political event of my lifetime.
Thank you for breaking us down, over and over again by spewing hatred instead of love.
Thank you for creating such a horrifying reality for each of us, so that we may never let ourselves get here. Ever. Again.

If I could re-write the results from this past week’s election, I would in a heartbeat. I have felt sick to my stomach, riddled with fear, and devastated all in one breath. But I can’t, none of us can.

So what now?

Well, first off, wherever you are in your process, it’s all ok. You have full permission to take as much time to grieve, be angry, and honor your fear. I was right there with you for much of this week and I am sure all of those feelings will come up throughout the next four years. Let’s all honor it and not add more shame or denial to such a charged reality.

But here’s the thing: I am thanking Donald Trump because it’s the absolute best option I am faced with right now. He has shocked us so profoundly, and shaken us awake. And while I want to wallow, to say screw you, to give up, to be paralyzed by this new reality, now is the time to take action. I wish Hillary had won with all my heart, but perhaps we wouldn’t be so painfully activated right now if that did happen.

No more sitting back if you thought you might be able to. No more keeping quiet because you’re worried people won’t like being challenged. No more looking to others to make the change, while we enjoy the comforts of living a privileged life. I know that not everyone who reads my blog comes from the same background, but I also know that most of you are so incredibly blessed and fortunate. Just like me.

After this week’s results, I feel a moral obligation to take my privilege and use it to help others in a way I never even thought I could. By being louder, more expressed, and more disruptive all in the name of LOVE. I can’t say I have all the answers (or even one answer) on how I plan to do that, but I can promise you that it’s happening. I have been feeling a calling to go deeper for months now, and while I have started that journey, this election proved to me that there is SO much more to do.

It’s not my intention to force my new found desires for change on you, but I want you to know that if you’re as fed-up, scared, and tired as I am, you don’t have to sit back without taking action. We can join forces, we can raise awareness, and we can use our collective voices like never before.

I have always tried to be loving and kind to every soul I encounter, but my desire for that has deepened even more. Those broken hearts that we encounter everyday without even knowing it need our love more than ever. A smile, a sweet compliment, or even buying someone a surprise cup of coffee is a great way to start adding more love today.

However, we need to go way beyond that if we are ever going to see the change needed to put this country back together again.

I love you all so very much, and I hope this post is finding you ready to make a change too. Because we need you. I want to open the discussion in the comments below and ask that you share from your heart about how this election has left you feeling. What do you plan to do about it? Are you ready or still grieving? Let us know. We have to be vulnerable and come together, now more than ever.

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Comments

  • kathleen

    …..you would prefer a would-be felon as President? A would be felon who practices dirty politics, lies, and takes money from nations who murder women? Someone who is cavalier about the security of her subordinates who willingly would accept a bullet for anyone of us??? Does the name Chris Stevens ring a bell?? Perhaps we need a refresher course in American Civics, and this little thing we call the AMERICAN CONSTITUTION. Read it! It’s a beautiful and elegant document.

    • Nitika

      I would prefer someone who didn’t make my LGBT, immigrant, people of color and so many other minority friends feel afraid for their lives. I don’t like Trump, and I wasn’t pro-Hillary all the way either but I believed in her heart more than his. That’s just my opinion! Lots of love.

  • Peg

    The road to successful change comes from a united purpose and a United group of people
    I’m going to ask myself and every woman to begin with self-acceptance. Only when we truly love and accept ourselves with all our flaws and strengths and imperfections can we begin to accept those of other women.
    Only then can we look at women, not for their clothes or dress size or jewelry or profession, but for who they truly are and how they deserve to be respected by everyone
    Hillary gets beaten down and stands back up again. She won’t quit and neither should we

    • Nitika

      That’s beautiful Peg – self-acceptance is an amazing place to start. Love it + and sending you so much love! xx

  • Randi

    I will no longer follow your blog and am unsubscribing from your emails. As an educated, “for women” writer I would have thought you wouldn’t have been so close minded as to think that all of us feel the exact same way you do. Your ignorance and honestly biased one sided hateful and mocking “thank you letter” shows me that you are not the person I thought you were at all. How TERRIBLY disappointing.

    • Nitika

      My blog has always and will always be my viewpoint, my thoughts and my feelings expressed. I know not everyone who reads this feels the same way about the election as I do, just as I know that when I write about having psoriasis or going through a divorce, not everyone has had those experiences. This is my point of view on the election and what I think needs to be done. Wish you well + sending love your way!

      • Seema

        It is sad how Trump played with the emotions of the Republicans to get his way. Republicans do not deserve to have a liar, women abuser, a person who has found way to escape taxes, made fun of handicaps—the list can go on.
        Trump is super smart and conniving, he had done is research well, he promised what the innocent wanted and now will not follow or implement them. It is a shame the entire world is stunned how the Americans could not see his sole intention–he just wanted power–now he and his own family will benefit and the country is left undivided.
        I don’t understand how in the world women voted for him.

        • Nitika

          I totally agree Seema. We shouldn’t be shocked, at all. And now seeing this in hindsight I see SO many holes that I never saw before! Thanks for sharing your views, it’s so important that we have the space to do that. Lots of love xxx

      • Allison Davis

        Well said, Nitika! I have always appreciated your voice, and that goes doubly for this post. Thank you for being vulnerable and for speaking your heart, even though it’s sure to cause some heated comments. I, too, am trying to hang on to the light. I know your thank-you note wasn’t sarcasm, because I, too, have been focused on being thankful — it helps.

        To be sure, Hillary wasn’t my first choice — but, in the end, my only choice. For Trump supporters, I’m glad you feel safer and heard — I wish us all to feel that way. At the same time, my line in the sand is human rights. I fend myself thinking, “It must be so nice to be privileged enough not to have to worry about the racist, xenophobic and homophobic consequences to his leadership.”

        In the spirit of trying to find common ground, here’s my question to those who are unfollowing Nitika: You must have some core sense of kindness and light (otherwise, you wouldn’t have found Nitika in the first place!). So, under the new president, what will you personally do to ensure that those protected under current law will continue to be protected? How will you start to untangle the hateful rhetoric Trump has shared throughout the course of his campaign and ensure the safety of every human?

        • Nitika

          Thank you for your continued love and support Allison, it means the world! These questions are so valuable and I appreciate you sharing them. I would love to know the answers too because things feel dark right now. I pray for all of our loves and hope that we all may find peace soon. Love you so much!!! xx

    • kathleen

      …..I agree with you Randi! I too will no longer follow this blog. My fear is that this blog is used to spread the propaganda that NBC, ABC, CBS and CNN throw out to the public…..along with the likes of George Soros and Michael Moore. So much for American individualism.

  • Dawn

    The problem is that everyone who voted for Hillary is listening to the fears being spread by liberal media. Hillary supporters have tried and convicted Mr. Trump already. Give him a chance. Pray for Mr. Trump. Pray for PEACE! Stop spreading fear. None of us can predict the future. It’s quite possible this unlikely presidential winner may have just saved us from unprecedented devastation. You just don’t know! There is a power higher than us. You have to have faith that that power knows what (S)He is doing. We need to send as much LIGHT and LOVE in Mr. Trump’s direction as possible. XOXOXO

    • Nitika

      Hi Dawn! This is such an absolutely beautiful sentiment and one that I haven’t put much thought into, if I am being honest. I love it. I so so so appreciate it. I haven’t spewed hate at him, but I definitely haven’t prayed for him or sent him love either. Thank you for your perspective, it’s so needed right now. Lots of love xx

  • Blair

    Nitika, thank you so much for writing this! It’s brave and needed. No matter what we believe we all need to come together. Not make each other wrong for our sentiments or beliefs. That’s part of the problem and the huge disconnection our country faces. I agree that this whole situation has been a huge wake up call. And we all need to take the time to practice reaching out to the people we don’t understand so that we can find insight into their perspectives. It’s time to bridge the gap with love and loving action.

    • Nitika

      Thanks for your comment Blair! It’s such a tricky time and everyone’s opinions are valid but yes, we just need to come together. Lots of love!! xx

  • Colleen

    I love this post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your passion to take the high road and spread love wherever you go. I’ve found this a difficult week too. I’m focusing more than ever on my breathing practice to combat stress and looking for ways to spread love and kindness. I’m also keeping this quote on my mind. “I have decided to stick with Love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. xo

    • Nitika

      These are all such beautiful things to focus on – good work Colleen! Sending you lots of love and will certainly be keeping this quote in mind over the coming weeks (and years). I’ve heard it before but thanks for reminding me of it. Love!! xx

  • Marie Belle

    Hi Nitika,
    Thanks for your bravery and vulnerability. I spent a whole day in total shock. We have a lot to thank Donald Trump for he is showing us the real face of America (not pretty). How divided America really is and how far we have left to go. He will keep us awake and vigilant. He will show us how to stand up to bullies and not wait for the government to babysit us and he will teach us the true meaning of stronger together because we will have to learn how to stand up for each other as well.

    Donald Trump represents the Patriarchy. He’s the boss who sexual harasses you, to put your pretty little self back into your place. He is the slave owner who beats you to a pulp because he can, he’s the billionaire capitalist who doesn’t pay taxes, and because he is “The Man” There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. This has been the case for hundreds of years in America, thousands of years on this Earth. You can’t out lawyer him, you don’t have more money or contacts than him, you can’t tell anyone what he did to you, no one will believe you or risk standing with you, you can’t beat him, he always wins. White protestants in “middle america” can’t understand this. They cannot personally relate to the actual FEAR Donald has provoked in the rest of us. They have been programed to focus on how technically “corrupt” Hilary is and nothing else. There is nothing to explain, you either personally get it or you don’t.

    Donald Trump is showing us everything that is wrong with America. Like how Hilary won the actual popular vote but Donald wins because of the Electorals. More examples will be shown. Stay tuned. Anyway what has been done is done. This is 2016 and everyone has a voice now, so please use it. If Donald continues as he’s been we will have to remember to not hide out in fear, to speak our truth, to not allow anyone to treat us less than, to promote inclusion and equality and to spread peace and love no matter what TOGETHER, regardless of what he is saying and what they are doing. We are cleaning out the basement of America now, it won’t be fun, it is painful, old wounds will resurface, but it will be worth it in the end. Promise. May his heart soften up and may America find peace again.
    Much Love,
    Marie Belle

    • Nitika

      This is so beautiful and so well said Marie. Thank you for sharing it with us and for your kind words about my post as well. It’s not easy for me to speak my truth in this way and I have never been involved with politics or anything close, so there’s a lot coming up around it for sure.

      I pray his heart softens too. Lots of love being sent your way!

  • Renee

    This election has also propelled me – no more sitting back and no more keeping quiet..
    I plan on being more engaged, discussing issues and educating my daughter as well. There is no doubt this undertaking will require effort on my part as well as time (a precious commodity) and that’s my choice and obligation.
    Your courage is inspiring – thanks.

    • Nitika

      Yessss Renee! I am so so glad to hear that. You are so special and this world needs you!! Sending you so much love sweetie xxx

  • Brooke

    I was also devastated by the election. I think I’ve experienced the five stages of grief this week, and I know I will experience it all over as cabinet positions have started to be announced. But, Hillary’s speech was poignant and empowering. I even wrote in my phone journal that I have to pursue my dreams because NO ONE was going to pursue them for me. I’ve lived so passively for so long, and I was inspired to really speak out and speak up. I bought a domain name, really began sharing my blog with people, and I’ve decided to go all in to create the life, career, and freedom I want. I needed to be broken open in such a major way. Yes, 2016 in general for me has totally broken me open with my battle with chronic fatigue syndrome, autoimmune issues, and being wrongly diagnosed with Candida. But the heartbreak of Tuesday night was on a whole other level of heartbreak and emotions. I’m more inspired to get my voice out. I’ve lived afraid of pursuing a career which lights me up, and going against a very traditional career that my parents wanted me to follow (I was absolutely miserable doing the schooling and testing which went with being that type of professional). I read your letter and all I can say is YES. This week made me feel like I can no longer live in the fear and live in the shadows just praying for a break. I gotta make my time here and my voice count. Sending you love girl! Thanks for always inspiring and sharing your heart. It encourages me to share mine.

    • Nitika

      This is what it’s alllll about Brooke! I know these are such painful and trying times which we will all continue to process as everything progresses. But it’s up to us to wake up more than ever! I don’t have the answers as to how we are all supposed to do that but I know there is no time like the present. Sending you so much love!!! xx

  • Nan

    I thought you promoted love, not judgement. I thought you were pc and open minded. I thought you embraced people rather than pre-judge them. I realize from your recent “ vent “letter to Trump, how wrong I am about you. As a democrat, I finally realized how wrong I was about Hillary too and that is exactly why I voted for Trump. Every line you write about Trump is really true about Hillary. And now the same pc, opened minded individuals are out hurting and to the point of killing innocent individuals whose freedom to vote however they choose is being scrutinized. What an absolute disgrace to my Democrat party! I have seen and heard it all now and the facts speak for itself with Trump’s win. It is time to embrace it and be a part of this great movement in Making America Great. The choice is yours to either sit on the side lines while crying and complaining or be accepting of the change expecting good things to happen for all Americans. We are in this together, so let’s think POSITIVE! It’s all about perspective! So let’s embrace the fact we have a new president, support him and believe good change is here for all Americans.

    • Nitika

      I do promote love, but I also promote honesty and I am honestly scared for so many people I love. I don’t wish Trump any harm or negativity in his life, but I am not certain that he doesn’t wish that of many people I love. It’s my opinion. Thanks for your comment Nan, I agree we need to be more positive and will continue doing so. Lots of love xx

  • Cynthia

    This is a letter of spreading more hate… Its over, its been decided by the majority… Instead of having to embrace hope and change for a better you are spreading more hate.. I am unsubscribing from you.

    • Nitika

      There is no hate in this blog Cynthia, there is heartbreak and sadness. Wish you the best! xx

    • Allison

      Just so we’re on the same page with the facts — the majority did not vote for him. She won the popular vote. I’m not trying to incite anything here — just want to make sure facts are checked for those who are seeking to be informed.

  • Michele Morales

    Thanks so much for your bravery and honesty Nitika. I also took the results of this election very hard. And like some others have mentioned, have grieved. Just reading through the comments shows how divided this country really is. Even more than I thought. What’s done is done and I know that God is able to move and accomplish his plans no matter who is in office. While we may have been shocked by the outcome God was not and I put all my trust on that. We are charged with praying for our leaders and so I will do that. I’m just sad that the president elect is not someone that I can admire or would urge my daughter to admire. While I agree that Mr. Trump could benefit the country in some ways, he doesn’t embody the love, decency, heart, acceptance and understanding that I would hope to have in the leader of our nation.

    • Nitika

      Thank you so much for your comment Michele, I believe in God too. Even when things seem so dark I know God is taking care of each of us. I feel for all the parents out there that have to explain this to their children. Sending so much love to you and your family <3 xxx

    • Nan

      In response to Michele Morales comment, I’m confused as to how you can have an honest to God conversation with your daughter about how Hillary embodies love, decency, heart, acceptance and understanding. Please enlighten me because clearly I’m not seeing it.

  • Phil

    I think what you wrote was fantastic and spot on. While I would not consider myself privileged, I also don’t fall amongst the most disadvantaged of this nation. Seeing how foolish and outright stupid so many of our fellow Americans are has been devastating. I like your message of trying to fight this disgusting hate with love, however I feel as though that may not be the answer. I’d like to think that it can be, but I just don’t know right now. I keep hoping this whole thing is a nightmare and I’ll wake up, but in lieu of that, I can only try to be active in some way that will help bring our nation back to a more normal place, if such a thing exists. I have two kids and I honestly fear for the kind of world they are growing up in and now whether there will be a world left for them to grow up in.

    • Nitika

      Hi Phil, thank you so much for your comment, it’s awesome to see a male voice on here!!! I totally get what you’re saying that just being the love might not fully be the answer and I also don’t really know exactly what I am supposed to do. I guess I am just trying to be vocal as a start. We will see where it all leads us but the more we can come together and be the love for starters, I think the better off we will be. Lots of love! xx

    • Nan

      Having been a Democrat for years until this election, what I find most fascinating is all the talk from both Democrats and Liberals of how loving and accepting they are of others but clearly, in fact, that is not true at all. My case in point: Refer to Phil’s response “seeing how foolish and outright stupid so many of our fellow Americans are.” So according to Phil because I chose to vote differently than his/her self I’m called stupid along with “so many of our fellow Americans.”
      Well, Thank you Phil, because you confirm one of the many reasons why I switched parties along with a majority of my American friends who can see through the hypocrisy.

  • Emily

    Thank you for sharing your views! It helps others share their views (aka me!). And I agree, thank you to Donald Trump. I can no longer be silent in what I believe because I think that what I believe (aka progressive values) will continue. I need to do something about it too! Be the love. Love first.
    Thank you!

    • Nitika

      Hi Emily!! So lovely to see you here. Thank you for your sweet comment! Lots of love!! xx

  • Nikka

    I’ll be honest, I was disappointed by the results, but I wasn’t surprised either. I say that because racism never went away, it was just hidden because of the stigmatism. I think there are a lot of prejudiced & blameful people out there that bought into his fear-mongering & hate-mongering. The problem is lack of compassion & empathy. We don’t want to open our minds or hearts, we just want to judge & label everything. We don’t always recognize the humanity in each other. We all hurt, we all struggle, we all have big dreams…since when did being human become a crime? I hate to say this, but Donald Trump is a prime example of humanity’s dark side which is why so many people rooted for him. Obama represented hope, progress, unity…while Trump is the complete opposite. He represents greed, corruption, love of power over love of a nation, the need to control others by intimidation. He lives for his ego. He only cares about his own self-interest. In order to heal & move forward, we can’t buy into that fear he created. We are all worthy human beings, we are all human souls, not labeled by our skin color, our religion, our language, etc. We have to know our own worth first & we have to believe we are worthy.

    • Nitika

      Thank you for your comment Nikka! I can feel the disappointment in everything you wrote and totally get it. I also feel we have a long way to go for compassion and empathy to be a driving force in this country versus everything we have been seeing lately. Hopefully we can all try and do our part and see change sooner than later. Sending lots of love your way xx

      • Sulesa Harmon

        I am thankful to Donald Trump as well so now we can have an open conversation about what’s
        hurting our country. Now people are coming out and showing their true feelings and the world
        gets to see this. He has inspired the Bigotry, fear and hatred in some of us. I thank God for people like you
        Nitika people that have a platform and you use it spread Love and Light.

        • Nitika

          You are so sweet for saying that Sulesa, thank you for the love. I really appreciate it! I couldn’t agree with your sentiments more. Lots of love xx

          • Nikka

            I notice that a number of people here on your post had different opinions about this election which is fine. Freedom of Speech is our right. You only voiced your concerns & has some people took offense to that. I do have a strong opinion about the incoming administration, but I can only hope for more love, healing & compassion to shine through. My faith is not in the government, but in the voices of artists, healers, writers, humanitarians, people who want to create social change that brings people together. I recognize that a number of people voted him for certain reasons, maybe it wasn’t all about closing borders or building walls. There are people concerned about their healthcare & their jobs. I get it. We don’t know for sure if he will follow through with his campaign promises. I know that people voted for him because they didn’t want to live under another Obama administration for another 4 years. This is a repetitive pattern that comes up every election. People said the same thing about the Bush administration. I know people want results. But, it’s kind of interesting that people are always complaining about the same issues every election. I hope that we can still live in a country that protects our freedom & democracy.

          • Nitika

            Very well said Nikka. I totally get that and feel the same way you do. I pray for peace and love for all and hope I can in some way support that happening. Lots of love to you Nikka! xx

  • Jennifer

    Nitika, It is not easy to come out as a personal brand with a political opinion. While I understand there are so many nuances to all of the opinions stated here, and I know that Hillary was not a popular candidate, I appreciate you giving those of use on the losing end of this battle permission to stay in our process as we grieve. I know my personal political opinion is not reflected unanimously– nor should it be. Democracy is built upon dialogue between those who have differing opinions finding consensus. I see you, as the writer and moderator of this blog, having given us a precious opportunity to voice our thoughts, and hear the concerns of others. This is what democracy and freedom of speech look like: talking with one another. But, what I particularly admire here is the courage to stand your ground as the voice of love, even in the face of opposition. No, we don’t all share the same experience, desire, world view– but guys, if we don’t talk about what we are going through– how can we expect to progress as a collective or an individual.

    I encourage you who subscribe to this blog who were also triggered by this not just to run. What we need are bridges, not walls, and I believe the way to bridges is by listening to each other. If you follow Nitika you know, she’s pure of heart. This is just what her truth looked like when she wrote this. And I guess she wrote this not to persuade you to agree exclusively with her, but rather to display what her healing process currently looks like.

    Of course, her healing process and political opinion aren’t the exact replicas of our own. Yet, what Nitika did here was brave. Did she hit everyone’s pain point, of course not! It’s written in the first person, through her eyes. It’s just her truth. I respect that.

    • Nitika

      You’re so sweet Jenn! Thank you for sharing this kind comment and taking the time to write it. I deeply appreciate it. You stated my intentions even better than I can in many ways. My favorite part of what you wrote is this “No, we don’t all share the same experience, desire, world view– but guys, if we don’t talk about what we are going through– how can we expect to progress as a collective or an individual.” That’s exactly why I wanted to open up this conversation. I appreciate you so much. Sending you all my love and more!! xxx

  • Sergio C Miranda

    the spew you talk about was never cited by Mr Trump, our President-Elect voted by the American citizens of these United States…left wing media never reported the full dialogue of his speeches but used timely pieces to create a hatred that ran rampant on CNN and MSNBC. Mr Trump has maintained steadfast from Day 1 on his views and changed for our once proud country…the riots at his speeches were designed by a democratic faction to deliver hatred, disharmony to beloved country…you only succeeded in making Americans own their eyes and put their support on the only candidate who didn’t flip flop during these tenuous elections…hopefully we can learn how divisive this country became under the current administration and his ego to control…I look forward to your response anddopen a dialogue with you…I have some of your other blogs that have interested me and look forward to other ones…GOD BLESS🙏🏼✝

    • Nitika

      Thanks so much for your comment Sergio! I totally get what you’re saying. There are so many opinions and different sides from this election. But I hear yours and I so appreciate you sharing it with us here. Sending lots of love your way! xx

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