There have been many nights where I have found myself going deep into a compare and despair black hole. You know the kind that I’m talking about. Where every post someone puts up, whether you really know them or not, sends you into a downward spiral. (If you’re currently struggling with this check out my survival guide here).
It took years for me to realize that all the abundance, prosperity and joy I was hating on was really a reflection of all of my own potential. We’ve all heard that. My light is only a reflection of your light… yada yada. Cue eye roll. I had been hearing this for years, but it didn’t stop me from getting my yoga pants in a bunch.
Once I got more secure with who I am and that the Universe totally has my back, over time I was able to release this toxic habit. I was then left with an entire newsfeed with all of these people I couldn’t’ wait to connect with. I immediately sought out as many events as my highly sensitive soul could handle, set up coffee dates with people I had been meaning to meet with, and felt super motivated to grow my network.
I have a video on networking with authenticity and grace, which you can check out here. But today I want to talk about what happens after your official networking encounter.
Our first interaction with a potential new soul sister or exciting connection can happen effortlessly and just seem to come together without too much stress. But then once we’ve had time to mull over all of the things that we’d possibly want to share with this person, and our anticipation has been bubbling for weeks, we can tend to overwhelm the other person with our energy or agenda.
We’ve all been on the receiving end of that before, right? And I can speak from experience, it feels… gross. So let’s not do that shall we? Since you’re on this site, I already know that you’re completely loveable, totally fierce, and deserve all the good things in life. My goal is to support you in getting that.
So see below for my three tips on how to create a meaningful relationship with a new friend or possible biz bestie.
- Be flexible. I believe in creating healthy boundaries and I would never want you to travel hours to accommodate a 15 minute meeting, however oftentimes I find when scheduling with people they lack a certain grace about meeting halfway. Be mindful that you’re the one who is initiating the connection. Although they’re going to get something out of the connection too, if you lead with grace it will provide more of an opening for expansion and excitement on both ends.
- Don’t get attached. While you might go into this meeting with a clear plan on what outcome you want, you have to remember that they have no idea what plans are going on in your head. Not only that, but they might have something completely different in mind, maybe something better! I find that the best relationships are formed when I am completely detached. I have built relationships with many highly influential people with no attachment or expectation that their influence is going to spill over to me. This creates space for them to show up with ease and invite you into their world in a way that has zero pressure for them.
- Follow up with love. I’ve noticed over the years that whether or not I follow up, as well as how I follow up, is a total game changer. Sometimes I leave a meeting not knowing if that person was as excited as I am. But following up with a sweet and genuine note talking about how much fun I had, is what allows me to realize that I possibly inspired them, motivated them, or lead to sealing the deal in business discussions. There have been other times when I totally flaked on the follow up and when reconnecting with the person months later, I learned that if I had followed up, our relationship would have deepened in some way.
Now, I’d love to hear from you! Have you struggled to genuinely connect with people you admire? What has gotten in the way? Or if you’re a pro at connecting authentically, what are your secrets?