Happy New Year, Love Bugs!
As much as I’m excited for 2016, I find that I can’t look forward without honoring how far I’ve come. 2015 was filled with a lot of love, exciting opportunities, but also the loss of my dear sweet Bella angel.
I learned so much about myself through the process of losing her and letting her go. It broke me open and forced me to reevaluate everything. One thing I learned–although there were many–is that for the last 26 years, I have always dealt with struggle before every action.
Let me explain.
From the age of 10 to 25, I was constantly dealing with my health–a severe case of psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. Every waking moment was challenging. Normal things like taking a shower, going over to a friend’s place, or traveling to the beach with my family required a ton of preparation. I’d have to exfoliate and moisturize my skin, be mindful of my clothes because my skin would flake, and pack my own food so I could stay on my anti-inflammatory diet. For those 15 years, I was never able to just get up and go. I truly had no idea what real freedom felt like.
Then in my mid-twenties, about 2 months before I got healthy and the daily suffering ended, I got my sweet angel Teacup Yorkie, Bella. Most people think of having a dog as responsibility, yes. But most don’t consider the lack of freedom one can create in our lives.
I never felt held back by Bella because I was honestly so in love with her and still am. I loved cuddling with her every night because she slept with me for 9 1/2 years. I loved how excited she got when I asked, “Do you want foodies?” And I loved having this angel to come home to every night.
But what I noticed once she was gone was that over the years, she had replaced my health struggle; I unconsciously transferred all of the worry and restrictions to her. The truth is, Bella wasn’t your ordinary dog. She was only two pounds, and riddled with anxiety. I couldn’t leave her for very long so I stayed home a lot. I stopped making trips to India which I had taken annually my whole life. And I had a level of anxiety within myself about her safety and wellbeing constantly.
When Bella was put to rest on December 1, 2015, it was one of the hardest days of my life. My heart still hurts because I miss her so much. However, what I am trying to do in her honor is to embrace the fact that there is no longer a barrier in front of my everyday decision making. It’s hard to believe how freeing it is to get up in the morning and do exactly what I want to do.. I literally haven’t had that experience since I was 10 years old.
As I look forward to 2016 and think about what I want to do, I am excited that all of the opportunities in front of me are being met with a resounding yes, not contraction from fear. What I wish for myself this year is epic freedom.
Freedom to take care of myself to the fullest.
Freedom to travel.
Freedom to play.
Freedom to luxuriate. Freedom like I’ve never even known was possible.
I’ve never felt more ready for a New Year than I do today.
Thank you for letting me share that story with you because it’s super personal and, truth be told, not that easy to open up about. I’m sending some major gratitude your way because you have made this past year so much more fulfilling and beautiful. And I know you’ll help me make 2016 even more amazing.
Now, let’s get to the purpose of this post: You! How do we get you ready for the year ahead?
Well, I want you to try this exercise.
- Take out a piece of paper or open a fresh word document on your computer.
- Be sure to set the mood as well by lighting a candle, taking a deep inhale of your favorite essential oil, or sage your space before and after.
- Write down the 3 things you’re most proud of about 2015.
- Write a paragraph about each one. Really go inward, feel into the pride you have and the gratitude for the people that experienced them with you.
- Then, I want you to write down three things you’re most excited about for 2016. Dig deep, my loves. Think of the things that if and when they happen you would jump up and down with joy. These can be things that you know are coming up as well as things that you hope to manifest.
I just want you to know that no matter where you are right now. No matter how much family you have close by or if you have a significant other or not. No matter how much is in your bank account or that you maybe gained some weight over the holidays. You are such a magnificent being and you’re destined to live out your life’s purpose. It’s up to you to co-create it with the Universe. And if you ever have any doubt in your ability to do so, come find me and I’ll remind you that you’re spectacular.
I’d love to hear what, if anything, about this post resonated with you. What do you appreciate most about 2015? What are your intentions for 2016? What do you want to call into your life? Join the conversation in the comments below.
I love you so much and happy New Year!