November 5, 2016

The Disaster That Taught Me to Keep Surrendering

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The entire weekend was planned out. I was scheduled to finish up a few things, go to the doctor for my weekly appointment, and then head to New Jersey to be with my family for Diwali. Side note: this Indian holiday is like going home for Christmas, so I was incredibly excited!

Diwali is a time when everyone in my family gets together to celebrate, dress up, light tons of candles, eat yummy food, and exchange gifts. It’s hands down one of my absolute favorite weekends of the year. In fact, I plan it out months in advance with my Mom, and this year was no different.

Sadly, things didn’t go as planned.

On Friday, I had a super hectic morning. I ran around to several appointments and I ended up having a conversation with someone that really got under my skin. But I kept reminding myself that the moment I was with my family, everything would be fine.

By the time I got to the train station, I only had minutes to spare. So I jumped out of the cab and RAN (I’m not a runner, to be clear). When I arrived, I found out that my train was delayed. I was so flustered and stressed from the day I’d already had that I was literally about to lose it. But, I somehow pulled it together and focused on gratitude. I would be with my Mom in an hour and just couldn’t wait!

Long story short, I finally got on the train, but within the first 30 minutes of getting to New Jersey, I had to go back to the city and forget about our Diwali weekend. You see, I have been fostering a super special dog named Dhalia for the past couple of weeks, and had left her with a friend for the weekend. But the moment I dropped her off and headed to Penn Station, Dhalia ended up getting sick! Yup.

Back to NYC I went to take care of her.

I’m not going to lie…there were tears. Lots of them. I was so heartbroken that my holiday was basically canceled. More than anything, my Mom had worked so hard to cook amazing food for me and had gotten the house all decorated; I knew she was super disappointed too. It just sucked!

That said, it was a huge lesson in surrender. All of it. Since I didn’t really have a choice, I had to find a way to embrace the inconveniences of the circumstances. So after tending to the pup, I made new plans. I ended up going to see a silly movie with a friend which totally lifted my spirits. On Saturday night, I wound up at a holiday party. And on Sunday, I was able to visit with my grandparents to celebrate, and even brought my soul sister Kavita with me. So all in all, everything worked out. But, I was really pushed to surrender in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to in the past.

The muscle of surrendering is something that is constantly being activated for us to work on, isn’t it? How can we forgive more? Let go more? Be more flexible and less controlling? I’m still figuring it out, my love. But if this weekend taught me anything, it was this: there is beauty everywhere if we let go and allow it to show up.

So, now I’d love to hear from you. How can you let go and surrender just a little bit more? Is there a situation in your life that you have been trying to control and haven’t fully been able to let go of? Or was there a time that surrendering really helped you get through something? Let me know in the comments below.

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Comments

  • Christin

    That’s a tough thing to do (surrender) to circumstances out of our control!. Good for you in letting it teach you a lesson about the world!

  • Brooke

    I know how tough it is to have it all planned…sometimes down to the minute…and then things fall apart. I’ve experienced it a lot in my life…from a breakup I thought would end in marriage, to my recent diagnosis of chronic fatigue which has knocked me for a loop, physically, emotionally, and entrepreneurially speaking. Each time, I’ve struggled with less gripping and letting go of control. I’m wondering about balancing your dreams with the whole letting go and surrendering. I got so hung up on my dreams in the past that I’ve not been able to dream or envision my future out of fear of being disappointed. I’m not sure how to balance the letting go with having a clue as to where I’m going/what I’m doing…does that make sense???

  • Michele Morales

    So painful! I totally know what it’s like when all your plans go down the drain. The last time something like this happened to me, I freaked out a bit. Threw a temper tantrum, complained about it and then had to force myself to stop meditating on it, because really, nothing good was going to come out of that! I love how you describe the act of surrendering like developing a muscle. That’s SO true!!! And sometimes, we just don’t feel like working it out but in the long run, it makes us stronger and more beautiful. 🙂 Thanks so much for this post!

    • Nitika

      Aww thanks Michele! I am glad this post resonated with you. Surrendering is SUCH a muscle, I know that for sure. Hope you’re able to surrender more and more in life too. Lots of love xx

  • Stella

    Have recently developed an iron deficiency that has transformed my life. Unfortunately not in a so positive way. I know a lot of us experience days of low energy and psych less but wen u hv to deal with this everyday it becomes unbareable. Well to cut the long story short, I’m a student and this condition has tremendously affected my studies . I had to learn to surrender and basically take every step at a time . I hv learnt to take advantage of the little energy I get in the evening to study. With all the shortcomings I managed to pass my exams . I’m exited about the holiday but I’m looking for ideas to enjoy the outdoors without putting much strain on the body. Thanks for sharing. Xoxo

    • Nitika

      Stella, thank you so much for sharing this with me. After suffering with psoriasis + psoriatic arthritis for 25 years, I completely get what you’re going through. My studies were greatly effected by my condition. I am so proud of you for continuing to make it work even under these circumstances and know that you’re on the right track just by the fact that you’re trying to be gentle with yourself. Keep it up, you’re amazing. Lots of love <3 xxx

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